happy OR very happy

if my memory serves right (after all, it was more than a decade ago - mid 2009?), it was a great 'roller-coaster' ride in my real life

our family was all packed up for our new phase of life - for work, i was supposed to move out of country for an extended period - it involved lot of planning - we had to end our lease agreement with the landlord - there was furniture and household stuff to be packed/moved with selling or other related arrangement - our kids' education was also to be considered - though he was young, school leaving certificate and all such things were big part of the 'logistics' - many laps of this marathon were falling in place - there was excitement and other emotions/anxiety involved - but with grace of almighty GOD it was all moving ahead well ... (like 'layers of onion' - NOTE to SELF - another blog post?)

and THEN on last day (or 2 days) before the actual travel i received phone call from my employer (HR team) - i think it was on my way back home AFTER I collected my son's school leaving certificate (that too worked out nicely with so much helpful - out of way - support from his school and teacher) .. not so unusual in IT industry - but very 'uncomfortable' at that moment for us - information conveyed on that phone call was short and straightforward - it was Saturday or Sunday - and the message was travel that was supposed to happen on Monday has been INDEFINITELY POSTPONED!!

I was alone in the car - and I had two choices - to be HAPPY ... OR to be VERY HAPPY ... yes, if someone had watched me react then - they would be confused - have I gone MAD?

In normal situation it would be something to be very SAD and worried ... what about all the arrangements that has been going on for not days or weeks BUT months ? it was so close - just 1 or 2% of the marathon course was supposed to be covered ... I guess i too might have been 'bombarded' with negative emotions - feeling of helplessness or setback - but it was probably momentary - it was overshadowed with over joy! Yes, I was VERY HAPPY (or maybe that is how I forced my mind to counter the otherwise devastating situation) - I used my 'creative' logic to think - if all was going smooth and well as per plan and expectation - and if I was grateful to almighty GOD for his GRACE till now - there is NO reason to DOUBT - in fact, this was possible ONLY because of HIS intervention - I could feel blessed that he is PRESENT then and there looking AFTER us - so that we are saved from some future unseen troubles OR bigger setbacks - and when ALMIGHTY can craft such a miraculous unexpected turn of events - should I not CELEBRATE and REJOICE with GRATEFULNESS? it would be sheer disrespect of HIS blessings if I allow even slightest of sadness to dampen my spirits.

I put on very energetic positive upbeat song from the movie Rock On! in the car on loud volume and started to dance/sing along with it (while paying careful attention on the road as well) - and I am sure if someone who knew the details would have recommended direct trip to psychiatrist - but I instead went home VERY HAPPY - and somehow broke the news to the family .. our son was very young - but he still remembers the incident by saying - 'oh, you mean the time - when we did not have spoon in the home to eat our food' (we had to scramble for plastic cutlery for our meals) .. there were many compromises from so many for sometime

[all is well that ends well - the move eventually happened :-) ]

I am trying to 'train my brain' to be HAPPY when I get something I wanted and tried for and to be VERY HAPPY when i DON'T get it despite of trying hard (which is clear indication GOD has something better in place) - i TRUST that HE can certainly SEE much more than i can COMPREHEND

it might be easier if what is said in Bhagavad Geeta can be understood and practiced (we all might have failed umpteen times and hence felt sad) - do your 'karma' but don't get attached to the 'fruit' - whatever HE gives is after all 'prasad' - take it with blissful disposition and you will be in joy forever